Lately, I found the inner me sobbing with large gasps at the thought of my used to be friends, with whom I have shared great moments and secrets since childhood.

I have always considered myself open, friendly, and God gifted in handling friendships until it hit me in the face that maybe, the friendship is never mutual at all.

The irony in this personal experience is how much of a cliche talk it may sound to the reader. Nonetheless, the speaker shall speak of the betrayal in friendships that may be even way more prevalent than what we all acknowledge.

Relationship betrayal, getting ignored, and feeling out of place among your own, are things I always considered for the ones in love relationships. Never did I imagine it hitting hard in normal friendships, let alone those that have existed for ages, but, well, life taught me again.

I and two other wonderful humans, (or better put, “seemingly wonderful”) had been friends for more than half a decade, shared lots of moments and secrets, or so I thought.

Not once did I forget to relay my gratitude to God for such friends, not anymore lately.

We all at some point were working in foreign lands, quite away from home, and in some moments, I felt like something was different. Like we had a group in our group like there was an inner circle that I wasn’t part of.

Time moved and unfolded the truths further, the inner circle started ignoring me, something I shrugged off saying; ” perhaps I’m being too sensitive”, but no, I was being offered a seat among the expendables.

When I returned home as they had done a bit earlier, I was fully cut off and positioned in such a way that would clarify how I was just “anyone” to them.

Like, what exactly was that? Perhaps they felt like I was below their levels and couldn’t be of use to them, but, is friendship supposed to be founded or maintained on gains? Was I always far outside their circle and I just never saw it? Was I blinded or betrayed?

I’m hurt by the “betrayal”, but I’m hurting more because it’s evident I wasn’t a friend of my friends, the people I fully opened up to through the ages, those I trusted with personal experiences, the same do not care at all now. Did they ever care? Can’t, and maybe won’t ever tell.

I have no idea of what caused the drift in behavior, I was left hanging like I never existed anywhere at all, and that too hurts, both mentally and physically.

I for one have been taught by life, whether or not I have learned is debatable. I’m certain, however, that with humans, one can never be sure of his/her position in their lives.

Be friendly, love them as much as you can for they might be real. Nonetheless, you might get blinded by the genuine love you give and assume the same is given back, or if you are not in a position to physically show love as before, thou can easily be let go of.

This should remind us of William Shakespeare’s saying; ” To thy self be true”.