Someone said, “Marriage begins when you look at your partner and you want to kill them.” This was really interesting and too crazy for me. I am not married, but I understand it now.
I never imagined how someone I will always want to admire, look at and blush all the time, will ever give me thoughts to kill them. Just like how ‘Hollywood’ gives us the “happily ever after”, I always thought, well, that’s possible if you only believe. I have believed and found out otherwise.
In relationships, people always start so in love, so attracted to each other physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually that they can not imagine ever stopping. Though this is not true for all relationships, at least it is true for some.
People will be so into each other that thinking there will be a day you will wake up and say “Nah” is unthinkable. Sometimes we think as soon as things are no longer a garden of roses we will be wise enough to walk away. But is life always operating in those two extremes?
It’s always a mixture of roses and thorns. Some days are sunny, others are rainy. Sometimes you cannot get enough of your loved one, and some days you cannot stand the sight of them. Sometimes you can give them anything you can afford in the world, and sometimes it’s all about you and your goals, nothing else.
Sometimes you seem to think about them all the time and you cannot wait to see them, and other times you completely forget that you’re in a relationship, even marriage. Sometimes you wish you had never said yes and remained single, and other days that was the best decision of your life. Other days we wish we had married that doctor instead of this plumber, and some days it’s not about money but love.
All this is just life with its ups and downs, and our relationships or marriages are part of our lives. So what do we do when we get those nasty thoughts about how we could have done better than this? Well, for some, they should indeed leave, but for others, they know they should not because they know tomorrow all the love will be back.
I guess there is no drug for these nasty thoughts, but to be patient with ourselves. These thoughts are an indication that something is wrong at the moment, they should not be put aside because when they pile up, they will come in full force and maybe cause more damage.
I believe we should sit down with ourselves and try to see what might be the exact problem. Try to ask yourself why all of a sudden you now want someone with more abs or someone with more money. What is the root cause? Is there anything you can do besides leaving?
These thoughts are not to be resented, but rather be a guide and help us solve any problem that is yet to surface itself. There are no perfect relationships, there is no happily ever after, but we can work on being happy more often and always choose to love one another at the end of each day.
