They say, “ask a woman what she wants from a man and watch her describe a slave.” Some may say the same for men. The reality is that our expectations sometimes are just too high to be real.
We want someone who completes us, who makes us whole, and we forget that it is our job to make ourselves whole. We want someone who knows our love language, who often buys us gifts, who spends quality time with us, who does chores for us, who showers us with affirming words, and who knows how to touch us right.
The question is, do you even know how to gift yourself? How to touch yourself at the right spots? How to spend quality time with yourself and listen to your inner voice? Do you even take care of yourself? Most of us rarely do, and yet we wait for someone who could also have the same problem of loving themselves to love us. What a world!
We barely know our purpose and our next plan in life, yet we want a man or woman who is determined and knows their purpose in life. We expect too much from other people and expect rather too little from ourselves.
Some are the exact opposites. They expect too much of themselves and lower the standard of how they should be treated. Others expect too much from themselves and others as well.Too many expectations birth disappointments. Low expectations get us less than we deserve. So how are we supposed to live?
I have no perfect answer for you. I guess we should just try to find a balance every day as we live, bearing in mind that too much or too little is harmful. We should just try to put ourselves in others’ shoes before we make unrealistic demands of them. We have to check if we are loving ourselves the way we want to be loved if we are doing what we would want someone to do for us.
We want gifts from our loved ones, are we even gifting them? We want to be listened to, are we good listeners? Before we demand love and attention from another person, let’s check if we are giving it to ourselves first. It’s not being selfish, it’s just self-care.
If we are conscious of this, it will definitely not be easy to love another, but it will help us find the balance between too much and too little quicker. And we move on each day learning how to love the other person and loving ourselves too at the same time.
Written by:
Prim Murahwi
Edited by:
Denis Wakigiri
Tim Asibuo
