Any relationship with another person is uniquely complex. We are always trying to find a balance between loving the other while loving ourselves as we move on with life.
Loving someone else can be fun, intriguing and sometimes exhausting. It’s interesting to get to know the other person every day, learning their little idiosyncrasies and still finding yourself attracted to them. It’s beautiful and can even make you make choices that you would have never considered, but you do now because you want to create room for them in your life.
Sometimes they annoy you to the bone and you just want to be alone again or maybe be with someone else because they seem better in that area the current person lacks. It’s a mixture of positive and negative emotions and somehow we still want to give the relationship or friendship whatever we have just to watch it flourish and bring the best in us.
But again, you have to love yourself, keep up with yourself, watch yourself as you grow from one younger self into an older version of yourself. You want to spend time alone to listen to the voices in your head and silence the noise of people’s opinions. This you cannot do well when you are constantly giving all your time and effort to someone. This can be your friend or a loved one and even your family.
They are other people and they come with their ideas and beliefs, it’s a full package after all. So you need time alone, just to process what you hear and discern what is right and wrong for you. You need time and space to indulge in your hobbies that none of your friends like. Take care of yourself, your body, your spiritual and emotional self.
But how can you do this when you also are needed by those you love? You want to be always there for them as you promised, but, you’re also feeling that yourself is suffocating inside. How do we balance this?
I think that taking time for yourself is not selfish, it’s simple self-care, nothing more or less. We all need time to ourselves as much as we need to give ourselves and our time to our loved ones.
This should not be seen as selfishness or not wanting to be with others. It’s just people taking time to be with themselves, recharging and silencing many controversial things we hear day in day out. I also believe this is good for everyone, be it an extrovert or an introvert. Introspection is always great. It’s worth trying sometime. What do you think?
